That bed routine of ours.

Is it like this for everyone? Is it just because it’s the start of something new? Is this how it will be?

I’ve always been pretty casual about the bedtime routine for my children. It’s never not worked. Isabelle Blanche, my three year old placid little dove and dear William Banjo my newly turned two year old fire cracker.

With a close age gap, I ended up tandem feeding them. I breastfed them both to sleep. If it got crazy it’s what I did. I was almost lazy about it. Then Isabelle weaned herself at 23 months but just went to sleep. It was so easy. William still “used” me but it was fine. It just worked.

We also have co-slept for such a long time, something I never planned to do but that just came about. That I will do again and again. It worked for us, it was never a problem. Co-sleeping rocks.

Now here we are with these two divine children of ours and I feel like I have no clue. On Saturday night they were awake until after 10 o’clock and it was out of control. I’m 35 weeks pregnant and my partner, Casey, who is such a mellow man even ended up over it. I felt sorry for them! They were a mess.

Yesterday I said no day sleeps, for anyone. Including me, I took one for the team. We had dinner, I bathed them, we read books and they were asleep by 7 o’clock. It was good, no it was amazing.

Tonight I wanted to do the same but it didn’t flow… I sat in their bedroom with them in the dark, calmly comforting them and making them aware I was there. Casey came in to lie on the floor with William. We were all in there. I recited the story of “Frozen” and sung songs, everything from nursery rhymes to Alison Krauss’s “Down to the river to pray” before both of them fell asleep. It took an hour. There were tears. But the wave of relief and achievement I felt when they both went to sleep and knowing neither went to sleep in tears because I don’t want anyone I love to fall asleep crying.

What a night, what a learning curve. Will it get easier if I stick at it? I feel like I can’t go back now. I want them to have a nice nightly rhythm so when we have this new family member in under 6 weeks, they have consistency and feel secure. But I ask again, will it get easier if I stick at it? Please say it will.